Inner Child Healing
Inner Child Healing
When a person has significant trauma during early childhood, it is hard for them to cope. They may not know how to say “no” or are silenced by their aggressor(s). They may reach out for help and be denied or told to keep “the secret.” Often, they are terrorized by the perpetrator with threats of death to themselves or loved ones if they tell “the secret.” So, the child often suffers alone.
During the abuse, especially when it is repeated, in order to cope, the child may “tune out” and pretend to be somewhere else. As they grow older, when they are in a similar abusive situation or when they visit a place that is similar to the “safe haven” they created, it will trigger a PTSD episode.
Often, various beliefs are created as a result of the trauma.
These immature beliefs become the foundation which their lives are built on. They are coping measures, relating to their immature understanding of what is happening to them. Sometimes these beliefs are made consciously; more often, they are unconscious and buried deep within. As more abuse or similar interactions occur, their foundation built upon these beliefs becomes stronger.
What is also detrimental is when the child reaches out for help and is denied assistance. If they are told not to tell anyone else about “the secret” or no one believes them, this sets off another set of beliefs. They learn early that they can’t trust others. The child is often made to feel guilty, unworthy, unsafe, unlovable, etc. These beliefs become the foundation which creates problems when they reach the teen years and try to build relationships with friends or lovers.
For instance, when a child is abused by one or both of their parents at a young age, this is the “norm” for them.
They may feel that this is normal for everyone. They are likely to be abusive to others, feeling that being a bully is socially acceptable. It also may become an outlet for them to release their pent-up emotions. Others may feel helpless, that this is their lot in life. Self-esteem plummets, the use of alcohol or drugs may become the chosen way to numb the pain. New emotions may surface, creating rage or the child may draw within, continuing to suffer in silence.
Sexual abuse has a whole other set of beliefs, especially when it goes beyond simple childhood exploration. When the child comes of an age to be sexually active, this often triggers many of the dormant beliefs. Thus, the teenager feels that sex is dirty, repugnant, painful, etc. They may unconsciously compare the new sexual partner with the childhood aggressor. They usually have low self-confidence and low esteem. Many become addicted to pornography. Their lack of self-love and worth leads them to sabotage relationships. They often hate themselves and their bodies. They may purposely gain weight, feeling safety in being unattractive. Some become promiscuous, looking for love in all the wrong places or as an act of self-hatred.
Thus, when the child who was abused reaches puberty, all hell inside breaks loose.
This is why so many young teens need to feel part of a group. They are seeking a safe haven. This is also why many turn to alcohol and drugs to drown and numb the painful memories. They still feel the need to keep “the secret,” while not getting help to understand what happened to them. Many have stuffed the events so deep into the recesses of their heart, that they have no recollection of the events, yet anxiety and depression builds.
There are many other factors, too numerous to address here. But if you suffered abuse during your early years, you likely are relating to these words. You may feel blocked in many areas of your life, not realizing this is the result of the immature beliefs you created as a child.
The goal is to find these buried beliefs and to release those that no longer serve you.
To move forward, you need to face and overcome the fears that have been keeping you from living a happy life. The following is one method that has been of great benefit to many people. There are also many books to help overcome childhood trauma. I also highly suggest listening to several of the Abraham-Hicks YouTube videos on the topics where you feel stuck. They will help you to see the trauma from an energetic perspective, allowing you to free yourself from the pain thing. I have included a list of resources that were suggested by others who have also suffered childhood trauma.
To begin the meditation, get into a comfortable position.
Allow at least 30 minutes where you will not be interrupted. Take several long, deep breaths in and out until you feel relaxed. Keep your focus on your breath. Then take several more to relax even deeper. Remind yourself that you are safe. At any time, you can tell yourself to go in as an Observer. You do not have to experience the event or the pain. You are simply calling in your “inner child” for a chat. It may take more than one attempt to get your “inner child” to come to you because the mistrust and fear runs deep.
When you call in “little you,” recognize that this fragment of yourself is still at the age of the trauma.
So, visualize and communicate with your inner child as though you were talking to a child of that age. You can invite “little you” to sit on your lap, to sit beside you or to sit across from you. Visualize yourself in a seated position so that you are not towering over “little you” because this can be intimidating. Not all people are able to actually “see” during this process, and that is fine. If you wish, place a stuffed animal or doll in the chair and pretend that it is “little you.”
Using your intuition, decide how you will gain the confidence of getting “little you” to come forward. You may suggest to “little you” to look around and see that it is safe, it is just the two of you. Use the Heart Connection that I have included below, sending love from your heart to your inner child. Let “little you” know that you are here to help so that he/she is not alone anymore. You may have to visualize having a flashlight and going in to find “little you.” If “little you” won’t come to you, then you may have to go to your inner child, keeping a distance that is comfortable for “little you.”
When you make the connection, then you can begin the communication.
Again, it may take a few attempts to get to this place. This is because” adult you” may also be fearful of going in and feeling the old pain, thus blocking the communication. Sometimes, it may be difficult because you aren’t an inner visual person. Keep trying. At some point, continue forward even if you don’t feel the connection. Like all things, it gets easier with practice.
Once you make the connection with your inner child, begin the conversation. Again, talk to “little you” in the language and tone you would speak to any child of that age. From this point in the meditation there are many variables, because every person’s experience is unique. Also, you may have experienced different types of trauma at different ages, and by different perpetrators. In this case, you may benefit from using this meditation to release each individual layer.
Use your intuition to help “little you” heal. Here are some things to consider. Do what is appropriate for your individual needs.
– Help “little you” feel safe during your talks.
– Let “little you” know that what the other person did was wrong and it wasn’t your fault.
– Tell “little you” that even if others did not believe you, you know the truth.
– Invite “little you” to remember the look in the eyes of the aggressor when they were being mean. Tell them that if the eyes were different than normal, it was bad entities that were doing it, not the person they knew. Those bad entities are now being taken away through the SoulCleanse.
– Remind “little you” that not everyone is that way and that you now are old enough to stay away from situations like that. You aren’t helpless anymore.
– Encourage “little you” to scan your life. All memories are stored in your body, so it will be easy to do this. Remind “little you” to notice that you are now grown and to see that the things that were happening then are no longer happening.
– Let “little you” know that it is now safe to come out, you are all grown up now and have a voice. You are now big enough to protect yourself. You now know how to say “no” and to be heard.
– Tell “little you” that he/she is an important part of “adult you” and that you want the two of you to merge together. You need each other to be whole.
– The whole purpose of this exercise is to pull your fragmented selves back together.
It may take several talks before your inner child will agree to merge. Allow this to flow in its own time. Be patient. “Little you” has big trust issues and once she trusts “adult you,” it will become much easier for you to begin trusting others.
– Be fully honest with “little you.” You can say that you are safe, but also acknowledge that bad things can still happen. People sometimes get raped, beaten up, robbed, have health issues and accidents. However, remind “little you” that you now have the maturity and ability to avoid these situations.
– Ask “little you” to share his/her greatest fears. Then help to calm those fears with new solutions. Together, dissolve those fears. Oftentimes, these are the false beliefs coming to the surface. You may not even be aware of many of these “background tapes” that run subconsciously and are affecting every area of your life.
We create these false beliefs from an immature perspective.
We may have dozens of them running our lives subconsciously. These may be creating an undercurrent of anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. They are blocking the natural flow of energy through our body, creating dis-ease. They also block one’s ability to give and receive love freely, if at all. These false beliefs rob you of a happy life.
As you have your conversations with “little you,” find these fears and beliefs that were created in the past. Together, come up with a plan on how to release them. Often, just talking about the fear and feeling “heard” is enough to move onto the healing path.
The goal is to get “little you” to re-merge with you. You need each other. As these unresolved emotional traumas are released, the energy blocks will dissolve. Much of the pain in your body will release. As the energy blocks dissolve, the natural flow of qi energy will return and the healing will begin. You will also experience mental clarity, emotional stability and can begin to expand your spiritual awareness.
The next step is to heal the relationship with any others that were involved.
In most cases, abusers have a past history of being abused. Their unresolved emotional pain lowers their energy vibration, making them vulnerable to entity attachment. Most people who do really mean things are under the influence of dark entities. If you looked in their eyes when they were doing the abuse, you may have noticed that it was a different “person” looking back at you. During those times, an entity had full possessed of them. They may not even remember what transpired.
All of us are doing the best we can because we are living our lives from the foundation of the reality that we created from childhood forward. Once we recognize that we have these beliefs and misunderstandings, then it is much easier to release them.
Forgiving any perpetrators, yourself and others who did not help you is very important for your growth. Anything can be balanced with love. The Heart Connection is an important tool because the focus is on the healing power of love. If you find it hard to send love and forgiveness to your perpetrator, then connect with their Higher Self instead. Sometimes you may have to fake it ‘til you make it. With practice, one day you will feel the shift inside yourself and the energy will release. Whenever you feel the release, fill that void with love.
There are many who suffer horrible traumas, yet come away much better because of it.
This is because they faced their fears and they looked at things from various perspectives until they realized that they do have the gift of Free Will. They are now in charge of their life. Yet, with each choice comes responsibility. With each action there are a variety of possible reactions. With each cause, there are various effects. Choose love and you will empower yourself.
The creative power lies in the current moment. Release the shackles from the past. Stop being overly concerned about possible future outcomes. Utilize the tools on the Daily Spiritual Practices pages and you will create inner peace. Anxiety will lessen and perhaps disappear. Depression will melt away. No one can “push your buttons” regarding those events when the problem is resolved; that energy no longer exists.
As your natural flow of energy increases, you will be able to receive the loving energy that flows to you every moment from the Source of All, your Higher Self and your Spirit Team. You will also find it easier to give and receive love towards other humans.
The following is a list of suggested resources that others recommend for healing the Inner Child.
In my opinion, Esther Hicks is an excellent channel for “Abraham,” a group of highly aware Light Beings who lovingly support the human race. Go to YouTube and do a search on “Abraham Hicks” and whatever topic you are having problems with.
There are also a variety of “Inner Child” Meditations you can listen to on YouTube.
Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
A Cosmic Perspective of Codependence and the Human Condition
~ Robert Burney
Codependent No more
~ Melody Beattie
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma
~ Pete Walker
Daughter Detox: Recovering From An Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life
~ Peg Streep
Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse
~ Shannon Thomas
Homecoming: Reclaiming Your Inner Child
~ John Bradshaw
Healing the Child Within
A Gift to Myself (Workbook and Guide to Healing the Child Within)
~ Charles L. Whitfield, M.D.
Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People
~ Jackson MacKenzie
The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Hurtful Parenting
~ Alice Miller
The Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment
~ Babette Rothschild
The Verbally Abusive Relationship:
How to Recognize It and How to Respond
~ Patricia Evans
The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
~ Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
The Family Crucible: The Intense Experience of Family Therapy
~ Agustus Y. Napier
The Road Less Travelled
~ M. Scott Peck
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
~ Michael A. Singer
Twenty-One: My Personal Battle with and Eventual Healing of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
~ Elizabeth Birdfeather
When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships
~ David Richo
You Can Heal Your Life
~ Louise Hay
A POWERFUL TOOL FOR HEALING
AND TO RAISE YOUR VIBRATION
The “Heart Connection” is a simple, yet powerful, method to increase self-love. It is also a way to energetically heal imbalances with people and traumatic events. You may have seen pictures of religious icons as having a Divine Flame or sun in the heart region. Every conscious being has this Divine Flame, which is our connection to the Source of All. The Heart Connection can help you to connect with the Creator, your Higher Self, and other Beings of Light.
HOW TO DO THE HEART CONNECTION
Place your left hand on your upper heart region. Then place your right hand on top of your left hand. Then well up feelings of love and gratitude. Your hands become an electrical circuit and will create an energetic loop coming from the front side of your Divine Flame, going into your left palm, up your arm, through the back side of your heart/flame, down your right arm, out of your palm and back into your heart. Feel the energy and warmth of your heart/flame. Allow the energy to flow through your entire body and auric field.
The Heart Connection is a powerful method to increase self-love and remain emotionally balanced. Do the Heart Connection as mentioned above. Connect with your Divine Flame. Fan your Flame with feelings of love and gratitude. Bring to mind happy memories and acts of kindness you have performed.
Send love and gratitude to your body, mind and soul. Receive the love coming back to you. Know that you are loved beyond measure. Be grateful for the opportunity to be on earth at this moment. Relax and enjoy the love connection.
This is a great way to start and end every day. You can do this while resting in bed with your eyes closed. As you groom for the day, make the Heart Connection while looking in the mirror. Amp up your self-love throughout the day while you are driving, walking or going about your busy day. Simply visualize your hands on your heart while giving yourself a dose of self-love whenever you feel unbalanced or need to be uplifted.
CONNECT DEEPLY WITH THE SOURCE OF ALL
Most humans have been taught that they are separate from Source. However, this is not true. All conscious beings, in every dimension, are a hologram of the Source of All. Each are unique, yet an aspect of the whole. Use the Heart Connection to consciously send and receive love with the Source of All. Amp up your level of love and gratitude until you feel the energy going to and from the Source. Bask in this love for several moments. It is important to realize that you are one with the Source. The Source is not something that resides outside of you. The Divine Flame within you is part of the Source. Connecting with Source in this manner is an excellent way to start and end each day.
CONNECT DEEPLY WITH YOUR HIGHER SELF / I AM PRESENCE
Also important is to do the Heart Connection with your Higher Self / I AM Presence. This is the other dimensional Being of Light that co-created you into this human form. Your I AM Presence has too high of a frequency to live in a human body, so it creates a flame or aspect of itself in order to have a human experience. Thus, you have this Divine Flame connection with your I AM Presence. You are an Ambassador of your I AM Presence. See yourself as one, without separation. It is imperative to gain a close, conscious connection with your Soul, for it holds the blueprint and knows the reason of your incarnation and will help Guide you through every area of your life.
Make the Heart Connection with yourself, then extend it to connect with your I AM Presence. This may be difficult at first. You can create the setting to meet in a garden or other serene place. Until you feel connected, simply send the love to your Soul, extending gratitude for this time on Earth. Ask what your purpose is. Each day, ask how you can serve. Ask what the day’s priorities are. Listen for the answers. Feel the love that returns to you. Practice until you can feel that the Divine Flame in you, is the same as the Divine Flame of your I AM Presence… until you know that you are one.
HEAL UNBALANCED ENERGIES
WITH PEOPLE, PLACES, EVENTS
The Heart Connection is a powerful tool to heal stuck energies created with people you are off balance with. With this exercise, you are communicating at a Soul level, transcending the experiences you had with each other at the human level. Visualize the person standing in front of you. If the pain is too great with this person, then simply send them the energy without visualizing them in front of you. Set a strong intention that you want to heal the wounds with this person.
You do not have to direct the energy in any way, just send and receive the love. If you prefer, you can ask their forgiveness, forgive them, accept responsibility for your actions or forgive them for their actions. Recognize that they and you both operate from the pain that you have incurred throughout life. Also be aware that many times, their behavior was exacerbated by entity interference. This could have been true for you, as well.
If you are not ready to forgive or feel uncomfortable working with this person, then focus on connecting with the Higher Self of the other person and doing the energy exchange from this level. You can do this with people who are alive or deceased.
The main thing is to let the love flow as you release any emotions that arise. This can be done whether it occurred in this life or another lifetime. You can also do this for any entities that have been harassing you.
Perhaps it is not a person, but a place or an event that is the cause of the imbalance. Focus your attention on this place or event with the intention to heal. Great healing can happen using this practice.
ENHANCE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THOSE YOU LOVE
You can use the Heart Connection with those you love or would like to have an enhanced relationship with. First, amp up love and gratitude in your heart. Then imagine the person standing in front of you. Begin to send love to this person and allow your heart to open and receive the love that will flow back to you. Telepathically, they will receive this love and thoughts of you may come into their mind. How much they receive your love is dependent on how open their heart is.
Caution: This exercise is not meant to be used to get someone to become romantically interested in you. That is manipulation, not unconditional love. Rather, send this person love and an intention that you are interested in getting to know him/her better. Then let that energy flow as it will.