1. Practice gaining the attention of the person to whom you wish to speak. Ask them if this is an appropriate time to have a conversation. It would be good to give an approximate length of time you expect to converse. Thus, you are more likely to have the full attention of the one you wish to communicate with.
2. When you are in conversation with another, give them your full attention. Avoid performing other activities, including doodling, while others speak. This is a sure sign that your thoughts and interest are focused elsewhere.
3. Stay focused on one topic to avoid confusion. When appropriate, repeat what the speaker is saying in order to gain clarity. This may seem tedious, but can avoid misunderstandings and emotional upset.
4. Avoid unnecessary chatter. This tires out the listener who is likely to tune you out. Keep your conversations to the point and relative to the issue at hand.
5. At all costs, avoid idle gossip. This not only hurts the person who is the target, but also has the potential to decrease others’ trust in you. They know you are just as capable of talking badly about them. By remaining optimistic and refusing to participate in gossip, you will gain the respect and trust of others.
6. When topics are important, meet with that person face-to-face. Conversations that allow each person to see their body movements and hear their voice, are less likely to be misinterpreted.
7. Develop your intuitive skills. If you have a sense that the other person is not expressing their truth, let them know they can trust you and encourage them to speak from their heart. If you typically react emotionally to what other people are saying, it is less likely they will feel comfortable sharing their heart-felt emotions with you.
8. Release your fears, judgments and stinking thinking. These blocks hinder you from having a heart connection with others. Once you learn to love yourself and to confidence, you will more likely have conversations that are productive.
9. Allow others to express their beliefs without feeling the need to defend themselves. When both persons are mature and not reactive to what the other says, communications are likely to be productive, even when they disagree on the topic.
10. Let others know when your communication is complete, then allow the listener a chance to respond. This gives the listener confidence that he will be able to be an active part of the dialogue and will less likely feel the need to interrupt when you are speaking.
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